Things I Didn't Know Then

On 3 April 2008, I received my JET Program acceptance email from the Japanese Consulate in Boston. I still remember the rush -- of relief, of pride, of sheer unadulterated glee. I also remember knowing on a rational level that I had no idea what I was getting myself into -- but feeling so on top of the world that I was sure I'd be fine.

Well, I was fine. But I definitely did have no idea what I was getting myself into.

What I Know Now. What I'm Not Sure If I Wish I Knew Then.

(these are in whatever order they happened to occur to me, which may in itself reveal something)

• that "kawaii" is the highest possible compliment for any woman under the age of thirty or any item that she owns.
• that "kawaii" literally translates as "cute" but really means anything from pretty and fashionable to idiotic and Hello Kitty.

• that travel doesn't happen when you're facing a snowstorm on the one hand and a warm kotatsu on the other.
• that no one in Japan speaks fluent English.
• that everyone in Japan speaks more English than they'll admit at first.
• that being American is boring. They import too many of us.
• that being blonde is the most exciting event of the day to whoever is staring at you/talking about you/taking your picture. It doesn't matter how many of us they import.
• that I would become a pesco (fish-eating) vegetarian when with my colleagues.
• that being a pesco vegetarian would be difficult and confusing enough.
• that the Japanese do not understand the concept of vegetarianism.
• that cherry blossom is a flavor, not just a flower.
• that balls of salted rice wrapped in seaweed would come to be considered food, and a staple food at that.
• that I would miss ovens and cheese and dense baked goods.
• that manga and anime are not confined to 20somethings with bad teeth.
• that businessmen read manga on the subways.
• that Buddhist monks ride subways.
• that it is not a stereotype that Japanese people get their l's and r's confused. They have trouble with b's and v's too.

• that it is a stereotype that Japanese students are well-behaved angels who love English.
• that Japan struggles with a high suicide rate among its students.
• that the life span of a Japanese pop star is three months.
• that you can't keep up with the Japanese pop scene, so don't try.
• that I wouldn't be able to imagine leaving.
• that it could take six months to get over the culture shock and the homesickness.
• that maybe I was destined to be a teacher all along.
• that you can miss your adopted homeland as much as your real homeland.
• that a bicycle is the way to go -- anywhere.
• that anything cut below the collarbone is risque, but pants are optional.
• that you learn things from drunken colleagues that would never come out in the staff room.
• that Canadians don't have anything on the Japanese when it comes to effective use of the word "eh."